It's Simple.

UGH!!! My earing holes have closed up. At least like one of them did. They are back to like a 14...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 10:40:49 -0800

UGH!!!

My earing holes have closed up. At least like one of them did. They are back to like a 14 gauge now.

Sad day. Here we go again.

Silly bird. I just need to buy ones that she can’t get off.

(via ifreakinglovemylife)

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 09:00:00 -0800

(via ifreakinglovemylife)

(via ifreakinglovemylife) agreed.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 01:28:24 -0800

(via ifreakinglovemylife)

agreed.

"I’m scared that my dad will sell the house that I was raised inside, I’ll be alien to..."

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:22:51 -0800

“

I’m scared that my dad will sell the house that I was raised inside,
I’ll be alien to rooms in which I spent my life,
and that all the thing I made will get lost and and go away,
like the sounding of a string in their decay,
and that everyone I know will someday loose their homes and someday be afraid.

… I”m scared that I will only ever live inside my mind,
I’m scared that I’ll be sad and singing sorrow my whole life.
I’m scared to die.
I’m scared to die, alone.

”

- Benjamin Jameson Morey

I have a lot to say tonight tumblr. I have a couple things that have been seriously floating around...

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:59:59 -0800

I have a lot to say tonight tumblr. I have a couple things that have been seriously floating around my mind lately. Here goes.

The question is why am I sick a lot. I don’t really understand, but I have had 4 colds this year. 4! and I had a gnarly fever and I don’t really understand what is going on. I think it is stemming from the fact that i have been making really poor food choices, so as of tomorrow (or today) I am going to try and diet. I’m going to be avoiding:

Sugar that comes in boxes and that is bubbly.
Dark Red Meats.
Processed things.

I will then continue dieting until it becomes habit. I’ll be allowing myself 2 break days, days where I can eat things, like Christmas.

Even though I don’t really eat that much on Christmas.

Okay this isn’t the deep stuff you were expecting, I’m sure, but it just takes me a while.

Lately I’ve been really stressed out and I don’t really know why. I’ve had a really chill semester, and my finals haven’t been too bad. I’ve just been really interesting lately. I don’t have a great handle on myself when I get busy. I kinda start doing things that are pretty crazy and that don’t make any sense.

I’ve been missing bits and peices from my old life.

from the past I guess.

I don’t really have an “old life”. I have a past, like everyone else on the planet. And I miss it sometimes. Not always, but sometimes. I snap out of it eventually. But man, when that past invades your dreams to the point where you wake up thinking that you are still there, in that moment, in that place, its rough. Waking up and being in the same small dingy room that has pink wall paper, aquariums and mold is hard when you think your living in South Africa. Thinking your still in your room.

But as much as you like the past, it’s the past. You can’t go back to it. You can’t go back to going to Ice Cream Socials in the little red church and you can’t go back to Africa and you can’t catch fish at die kom, and there’s nothing you can do about that.

You have to move on. I guess that’s just a part of life. It may have been the best time of your life, but I think we all know that is isn’t true.

Sometimes I miss church.

Church is complicated for me. After Africa, its hard to go back.

I am selfish. It’s true. I look at churches based on what they can offer me. That isn’t good.

Things I am thankful for? Calvary Chapel Aptos’ youth group and Seth and Leah. I realized just how big of an impact they had. How important they were to getting us plugged back into real life. IN the crazy transition that was moving back to the states in the aftermath of the affair and the forgiveness that needed to happen, and how to adapt to a new environment. To a different culture than we had ever experienced, to live in a place where the people were cold and uncaring. They were a ray of sunlight in what could have been a really dark cold time.

And now she is having double lung transplant. It’s done now. Its just crazy. Life is crazy.

I’m really wanting to reconnect.

I’m wanting to plug back in, but that plugging back in is hard.

It’s been so long.

And I’ve been to so many churches.

And I just don’t fit anymore.

Its a strange feeling.

I just don’t fit anymore.

Anyway. I feel a bit better tumblr. Thank you. Theres so much more I could talk about, but its 1 am.

so I’m going to sleep.

Please Pray

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:16:59 -0800

I don’t normally do this on my blog ever, but my heart is weighing heavy as someone who has had enormous effect on my life is probably just begining to finish a double lung transplant.

Please pray that everything goes smoothly and for the family.

Religous or not, please pray.

“An hour agoI felt so lowI almost drownedDriving around thismessed up townIt’s pretty,...

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 21:10:47 -0800

“An hour ago
I felt so low
I almost drowned

Driving around this
messed up town

It’s pretty, it’s only
I felt so lonely
And I knew all night

I’d never find a face
That could understand
How much I miss you now

So I arrive
At the conclusion
Love isn’t made
Love doesn’t sell or pay
But we buy and sell
Our love away

Escape to the water
And stare up at
The starts and moon and sky

I was lying on my back
With my fingers in the sand
Alone in Miami
It sounds so funny
And yet here I am

It’s funny how life
Is seldom what you plan

Don’t let the panic bring you down!
Don’t let the panic bring you down!
Don’t let the panic bring you down!
Love isn’t made

How could we have let this go?
How could we have almost lost it all?
How had we forgotten
Love isn’t made”

Jon Foreman

Love isn’t made.

It’s funny how life is seldom what you plan

Don’t let the panic bring you down.

True words right now.

I could use a hug. haha.

rana92: :o Edward has a vagina?!?!/ SINCE WHEN?!?!?! OH EM...

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 20:23:54 -0800

rana92:

:o Edward has a vagina?!?!/ SINCE WHEN?!?!?!

OH EM GEEEE!?!/

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHA.

Some days I feel like my life is a bunch of should haves, would haves, could haves and need tos. And...

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 20:14:23 -0800

Some days I feel like my life is a bunch of should haves, would haves, could haves and need tos.

And yet, here I am.

I have passion for a good many things, but I don’t know what to do with it.

I’m just tired tumblr.

I’m just tired.

"Can I tell Solomon the things I’ve learned? Can I tell Solomon the things I’ve..."

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 20:11:26 -0800

“

Can I tell Solomon the things I’ve learned?
Can I tell Solomon the things I’ve learned?

I’m sorry friend, that’s not of my concern…

Come now David, where’s everybody going?
Come now David, where’s everybody going?
Come now David, where’s everybody going?

”

- The Angel of Death Came to David’s Room — MewithoutYou

“I was ashamed…I was ashamed… I was ashamed of her.” It’s been a while...

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:39:09 -0800

“I was ashamed…
I was ashamed…

I was ashamed of her.”

It’s been a while since I’ve stated how I feel tumblr.

Perhaps it’s a sense of not needing you.

Maybe its about the fact that I can cope without the world be able to access my every feeling, my every sadness, fear, hope and dream.

Maybe there’s something beautiful in that.

In other news,

I’m sick.

End. !

(not really.)

This is the end.

I’m happy.

ENDDDDDD.

Music To Buy:

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 23:30:00 -0800

“The Avalanche- Outtakes and Extras from the Illinoise Album”

Sufjan Stevens

“If my father took his life
For the national plan, I don’t care
I’m not about to stick my grave with an
Apron and a bucket of plans, never ever
I can take the pillow cases
Off the yellow pillows
Make a property line from the bed
In the living room, the living room
The morning papers made the most
Out of nothing at all”

-Springfield, or Bobby got a shadfly caught in his hair

I think that there are songs on here that are just absolutely amazing. They are a great Having a good day mix of songs with the ammount of seriousness that you expect from Sufjan Stevens and an appropriately significant ammount of songs that are not as serious. Chicago is on here in various forms (my favorite being the Adult Contemporary Version). One of the songs that stands out for me the most on the entire Album is “Pittsfield”. The song is hauntingly beautiful, quiet and triumphant. “The Mistress Witch from McClure” is a sad tale of infidelity and the shock of being a child and finding out about it, something that hits a heart string for me.

I’m exhaused and don’t want to make a link for yall.

The album is Called “The Avalanche” and the whole name is above. It’s on Itunes. The songs are great. If you like Chicago, you will like this album.

This describes my life pretty efficiently right now.

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 11:57:39 -0800

This describes my life pretty efficiently right now.

(via msbass) Yay for California Tree Frogs. Cant wait till they...

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 11:35:27 -0800

(via msbass)

Yay for California Tree Frogs. Cant wait till they are back this spring.

(via ilycuppycake)

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 11:33:58 -0800

(via ilycuppycake)

This website...

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 09:21:06 -0800

www.givesmehope.com

This website gives me hope.

goodnight tumblr!

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:56:30 -0800

goodnight tumblr!

Music you should buy:

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:50:57 -0800

Takk…

Sigur Ros

Okay. So I KNOW that I am not the first person to ever recommend this CD to you. The question is, why have you not purchased it yet? The music is amazing. Simply amazing. The music is haunting, beautiful and a departure from the regular stuff that we are subjected to on a daily basis. A combination of slow, building tones and chords that often crescendo in passionate music-gasm that can only be described as amazing. “Hoppipola” is mildly reminiscent of childhood (maybe its because of the video for the song that it brings this to mind… don’t forget to buy the album when you finally realize that you have been in love with Sigur Ros all your life.) “Saeglopur” is the song that started me on Sigur Ros, and was found in some video game trailer. I’m not afraid to admit that I didn’t find the song by going to a friends house and them popping the cd in or turning on Itunes.

I digress. The CD ends with “Heysatan” which you just have to listen to to understand the dauntlessness and peacefulness that the song ends the album with.

Itunes link to album below. Music video for Hoppipola above and from that I’m sure you can find the rest.

Merry Christmas!

Music you should buy:

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:37:17 -0800

“Sister Winter”

Sufjan Stevens

“Oh my, thoughts I,

Return to summer time.

When I kissed your ankle,

I kissed you through the night…”

Why?

It’s from a Christmas Album. By Sufjan Stevens. What more could you want?

The haunting vocals to the top notch musical accompaniment (I’m sorry, rating music isn’t really my thing. I’m more into keeping animals and plants alive in aquariums, but I’m trying.) this song really represents a more non-traditional look at Christmas Music from Sufjan Steven’s Christmas Album, which has many classic hymns and other sorts of Christmas-y music on it, like “Jingle Bells” and “Lo! A rose er blooming” (my favorite Christmas song on there) and in the hymn section, “Come thou Fount”. However, Sister Winter represents an amazing departure from these into a realm of new Christmas music that Sufjan Stevens has created. Haunting and beautiful, the lyrics touch my soul.

Tis the truth.

Thats why you should buy it.

Itunes link below.

Watch it here on Youtube. Then buy the album you cheap bastards.

Kthxbi.

(via adreamerforsure)

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:25:11 -0800

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